Tag Archives: father

Bedridden and Helpless

17 Aug

In the middle of pandemic due to several variants of covid19, people easily get sick tremendously. Many people are still recovering from sickness.  Some of them are still in the worse medical condition due to complications. Most of the time, these people are bedridden and helpless in the hospital, quarantine facility or home quarantine.

Do you know the feelings of the patient being isolated, bedridden and helpless? Do you know also the feelings of the bedside caregiver monitoring the 24-hour medical condition of the patient? It is very tough to become a patient or a caregiver. Patients and caregivers are really experiencing physical, mental, emotional and financial pains.

Physical Pain

Medical patients are experiencing physical pains.  They cannot turn over their bodies by themselves because they are so weak. Their blood cannot circulate well which may turn into bedsores and develop into skin wounds that prone to infection. They cannot open their eyes to see everything around. They cannot open their mouth to say something what they need. They cannot eat well using their mouth. Instead, they eat through nasal tubing that brings out physical discomfort. They can sense the pain while injecting the needles on their bodies. They cannot move their bodies voluntarily.  They stay on their body positions for several hours.

Likewise, caregivers of these patients have physical pains too. They stay with them most of the time and monitor their health condition. They patiently lift up the patient’s body when needed. They patiently feed them and allow them sip some liquids in order to prevent dehydration. They quickly respond to the patient’s needs like changing diaper, cleansing the whole body and changing clothes.

Mental Pain

Medical patients are experiencing mental pain.  They have many thoughts.  They think negatively most of the time.  Thoughts like what if they cannot survive.  What will happen to them? Who will take good care of their families? Where are my children? Do they come?

Similarly, caregivers have mental pains too.  They are worrying about the patient’s severe condition.  They are thinking about what will happen next. Thoughts such as what they will tell to their families and how they will tell it. Do they feel sorry about it or just listen to what the family will say? Most of the time, caregivers are confused mentally. They cannot decide wisely on certain things.

Emotional Pain

Medical patients are experiencing emotional pain.  They can only hear the voices around.  They feel very sad that brings out unstoppable falling tears from their eyes.  Patients know that they will die anytime.  With their conscious mind, they pray silently. It is really difficult for them to leave their families, relatives and friends. It is very tough and heartbreaking process of separation in their entire life. They want to win the fight for life but they are helpless to do it.

Caregivers have emotional pains too. It is hard for them to look at the patients who are suffering from severe illnesses.  They can feel the deep pain internally. They also cry and feel sad.  They try to comfort the patients by all means.

Financial Pain

Medical patients and their families are experiencing financial pain. They spend much money and have developed huge debts from hospitalization costs, medical procedures, professional fees and medicines. They spend from hundreds to millions value amount of any currency. The outpatients incur medical expenses, food supplements and other necessary materials such as diapers, alcohol, bath soap and wipes.

Sometimes, caregivers are experiencing financial pain too.  Most of the time, the caregivers are close relatives of the patients.  If the family has poor economic condition, the caregiver usually provides the needs of the patient unselfishly. Being front liners, caregivers provide their humane services to the patients unconditionally.

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“Thanks God, I am still alive.”

15 Jul

Thanks God, I am still alive,
Coz I have the mission to survive,
And have the human rights for life.
They need my presence and tender, loving care,
Thus, they always ready to support my basic needs.

Thanks God, I am still alive,
To breathe the fresh air and hear the sound of the wind,
To see the raindrops falling on the green leaves,
To smell the favorite foods on the table,
And ready to eat fruits and drink milk any time.

Thanks God, I am still alive.
To hear the Holy Mass every Sunday,
To strengthen my faith on Him and receive His blessings,
To glorify and praise Him because of the wonderful things,
That He had given to me including my own life.

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A Happy Father’s Month

26 May

A Happy Father’s Month.

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A Happy Father’s Month

26 May

In relation to the death anniversary of my father this May 27 (Memorial Day) and wonderful celebration of the Father’s Day,  I would like to pay tribute to him for being a great father.  I was born without a father figure in our family.  My parents got separated when my mother was in 3 month-pregnant on me.  My father had second family but still he did not forget to visit us about once or twice a year.  I did not know him before.  I thought he was just only a family guest visiting us.  When my father visited us, my older sister next to me excitedly and happily went to him and kiss his hand as a sign of respect.  If he arrived and I am playing, I just continued playing and say to my sister, “Your father arrives.”   I did not know that my father had talked to my sister asking help for introducing him to me as my father.  One day, after my father enrolled me in high school as freshman, he took me to a restaurant. We ate together.  That was the moment when he got the chance to introduce himself to me.  He said, “Do you know me?’ I could not answer quickly.  I am just looking at him.  Then, he continued, “I am your father.”  I could not imagine his feelings and emotions that time but he had the courage to say it to me.   I could not describe how I feel that time at the age of 12.  I felt I had already a complete family even I know only just a couple of hours because he should go back to his work and second family which is too far from us.  He accompanied me to buy school things that I need  and buy fresh foods in the wet market.  We went back home together and have a good lunch with my mother and other family members.  Before he departed and said goodbye, it was the first time that I kissed his hand as a sign of respect to my father.

I was a high school junior when I got sick badly.  I had been seen by the medical doctor, people using natural medicines but my health condition was getting worse.  I having a high fever then chilly temperature.  I got diarrhea and throwing up.  I got lose weighs in just few days.  I was absent for more than a week already in school. I remembered that week was our school exams of all subjects.  My mother was so bothered and worried about me.  She could not work, eat and sleep well.  My father who was living and working too far can cure or heal somebody who is sick.   His background career was in military but he had a special ability to cure some illnesses.  I knew and witnessed it personally.  So I requested to my mother to telegraph my father immediately.  Early morning the following day, my father rushed into our house and cured me with his prayers and certain medicinal herb extracts.  He really rescued my life.  I thought I would die that early age.

When I got a chance to live with my father when I started to go into college, he treated me fairly with his second family.  We never had any conflicts while living with them in spite of my father’s condition that was one-blind eye due to the call of duty as a great policeman and one-amputated leg due to diabetes.  He was no longer working in the hospital that time as a security guard but he was still earning a living for us and well-known in their community as an herbal doctor.

He was a loving father who is ready to provide the family needs.  I never saw my father having arguments or conflicts with my mother.  They settled down certain conflicts nicely and appropriately. My father was also a great singer and dancer during his times.  Because of his talents, he was frequently invited by some local politicians in fiestas and other special occasions such as weddings just to entertain the guests through his traditional songs and dances.

Although we had bonded together for a very short time but the quality time that he gave for his families that matters most to me.  I understand him. I felt his love and presence as a father to all of us regardless of distance, family status and life challenges.

We really miss you, Tatay. We love you so much.  Happy Father’s Day to all.

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Don’t Just Be A Dreamer

20 Jan

This was my article before going to the United States of America on March 10, 2010.

December 20, 2008

MEYCAUAYAN COLLEGE ALUMNEWS
ALUMNEWS Feature
DON’T JUST BE A DREAMER
“Don’t just be a dreamer……. but be a doer too.” How could you figure out a young boy who came from a broken family and very poor family who tried to overcome his own struggles in life?
My parents were already separated before I was born. I did not have a father figure in our house. We did not have any real properties. We rented the lot from our neighbor and our house is made up of light materials only and no electricity at all. I studied my lessons in a dim light of lamp. My mother, as a single parent worked so hard just to support her own family. She worked in the farm during daytime and weaved mats in the evening. She was still awake at 3 o’clock in the morning. There were times that she get unpaid from farm works and insulted publicly. It had been a number of times that our family degraded, deprived and discriminated. It was very difficult to be poor. During weekends, she sold mats and vegetables in the market. She got laundry clothes from our neighborhood when farm works were not available. We were always looking for our firewood, rice and food everyday. We did not have money even for our transport which made all of us to walk back and forth several kilometers away from poblacion to the barrio every time we went there for work. I did not have enough money when I was in the elementary and high school to support my studies. At the age of 10, I was an ice buko vendor already, carrying a box of frozen items and shouting  on the streets in our hometown. I did help our family in household chores and in selling vegetables in the market. My father with his own family had physical disabilities. He had artificially-made eye due to work-related incident when he was a policeman. He had also amputated leg due to diabetes. I started to recognize my father when I was in high school when he introduced himself while we were eating in a plaza’s restaurant and when he offered help for my tuition fees in high school. I realized the hardships of my parents in raising our family; putting up things together and solving various problems. However, I retained myself in the first section of the class since elementary up to high school. I participated in some extra-curricular activities in the school.
After graduation in high school, I cried when I could not continue my studies in college because my father got sick already and my mother could no longer support me. I remembered when she said one time, “Just cut my body into pieces and sell it” “So that you have something to support for your studies” She was crying too. I cried because I got 92% general average in National College Entrance Examination but I could not enroll in college. All my classmates in the first section would go to college for the coming year. First, I took up a free 6-month training of typing course which was sponsored by the Roman Catholic Church. In the afternoon, I did tutoring to graders in exchange of “sweet potatoes” as snacks and little amount of money from our neighborhood. Besides, I had to take good care of our vegetable garden so that we have something to eat. After graduation in the vocational course, that was the time that I should  look for a better job that can provide our daily needs. But there was another problem, how could I leave my 75 year-old aunt who stayed in our house for several years to help my mother in raising our family and she had never been married. I took good care my aunt since she got an illness. Do I take good care my physically-ill aunt through her entire life or to pursue my plans in life? It was a very difficult decision.
At last, I decided to look for a job. I just my visited my aunt once or twice a year. I had been a houseboy then a fresh meat, fish, and vegetable pushcart vendor in Meycauayan City then a cigarette, candies and plastic market vendor in Olongapo City then a gasoline boy in Zambales then a factory worker of school supplies in Novaliches and finally, a textile worker in Meycauayan City. When I obtained my regular appointment, that was the time that I have to start my plans again. While working in the textile, I did enroll in Meycauayan College. I never forgot to support our family in terms of financial assistance even I was studying while working. Meycauayan College was the nearest college wherein convenient for me in terms of financial matters, distance travel and time management. This was the institution I thought that can give me a college diploma and a quality education. My expectation was really true. Even I would like to take medicine course that time but I did not have huge amount of money for the said course. Thus, I selected Biology as my major in Education. I took Education course because I want to share my knowledge to everybody.

During my college days, I performed well academically with a general weighted average of 1.78. It so happened that I was a working student then and I believed that it could be better and higher if I am just a full-time student. Despite of these, I participated in certain college activities such as impromptu speech, singing contest, been a member of a dance troupe and a contributor in the college paper. In fact, our group was the champion in the Group Pantomime Competition.
It was February 1991 when the factory wherein I was employed had been closed due to labor strike. I went back into selling cooked food in one corner of a well-known subdivision in Meycauayan just to support my last semester of study before graduation. I just borrowed monies for my jeepney fare so that I can attend the graduation ceremony together with my mother. When I stepped on the stage, I could not even stretch my legs because I am so hungry that time. I felt physically weak. My beloved mother witnessed my graduation at last in 1991.
I tried to apply for a teaching position after graduation but most private schools offered me lower salaries which were half lower salary from a textile factory where I lastly employed. One day, a friend encouraged me to apply as waiter in the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia because I had a part-time job experience as waiter in an exclusive hotel in Manila. Luckily, I was hired but for the first two months abroad, I was a merchandiser in a supermarket wherein I have to lift up heavy items in a dump truck then downloading these again. I did these tasks three times a day in a 12-hour basis of work time. Again, I was not used to it. I felt so weak. The store managers could not understand the English language. They shouted and said bad words to me every time I could not carry heavy loads but I ignored it. They allowed me to transfer in a restaurant when there was somebody newly arrived from the Philippines. After I served as janitor in a Filipino restaurant then I became waiter for more than three years then a cashier/waiter wherein one of my tasks was to supervise the operation of the restaurant.
When I arrived here in the Philippines in 1994, I prepared for the Professional Board Examination for Teachers; Career Service Professional Examination which both I took in 1995. Luckily, I passed the two professional exams. In the same year, I started to practice my profession as elementary and high school teacher in a private school. While teaching in a private school, I pursued my graduate study in Manila for two years until I passed the Comprehensive Examination. I lacked just one subject which is thesis writing to finish the degree. After four years of employment, I transferred to a public school here in Meycauayan City. I had been employed also as part-time college instructor here in Meycauayan College, my alma mater, and in a public college here in Meycauayan City. Within thirteen years of continuous service in both private and public institutions, I did share all my skills and expertise to elementary, high school and college students. I did participate with my colleagues and school heads in any assigned tasks to improve the quality of education in our school. For professional growth, I attended various seminars, trainings and workshops. I tried also to contribute articles for science magazines of a publishing company here in Meycauayan City.
Last year, I passed the Praxis II Exam with a higher score. This was a professional examination given to any professional teachers in the world conducted by a licensing agency of United States of America for teacher certification. To sum up, I passed already four major professional examinations which I did not expect to happen when I was still a kid. The history repeats itself, now that I am applying for a teaching position abroad. I passed already the interview and I completed already the required documents. My only problem at present is the processing and placement fees. That is why I ask the Lord to give me some signs. My 84-year old mother wants me to stay here in the Philippines. According to her, she is now very old. It hurts me every time she says that statement and every time I say goodbye to her. My mother also said that I have already job here so why I should go so far. I love my mother so much but I want also to improve my life and the lives of our family better. It is a very difficult decision again. Would I stay to take good care of my mother and the rest of my family or to follow the next plan? I am asking for several signs to God for my next decision in life.
However, I would like to widen my horizon and to continuously do public service here and abroad. Always remember: “Do what is right in order to be good rather than do what is good in order to be right.” “Not all good things are right but all right things are good.”

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