Tag Archives: family

Investigating Child Abuse

29 Jul

 

What is Child Abuse?

Child abuse is one of the primary problems of the society today.  Child abuse is not only inflicting physical harm to the child but it shows in several ways. Child abuse may be emotional harm, traumatic experience, verbal and non-verbal harm or even simply negligence to the child.  Child abuse may be putting them into dangerous situations, maltreated, engaged in child labor, taking away their freedom to play with their peers, too much unlawful restrictions, disrespecting their rights and privileges,  sexually abuse, taking for granted on their weaknesses.

Child abuse varies from different ages, gender, social-economic status, family background and culture.

Did you know that?

  • In 2006, about 905,000 children ages from 0 to 17 years in the United States were victims of maltreatment
  • In general, girls tend to be the victims of abuse more than boys
  • more boys experience physical abuse between the ages 8 and 11
  • highest rate in African American population (19.8 per 1000 children)
  • children were abused or maltreated by a parent acting alone or with another person
  • neglect was the common maltreatment
  • parents who usually abuse their spouses have the tendencies to abuse their children

 

Sources:

Department of Health and Human Services, 2006

Child Protective Services, 2010

 

Warm Up the Snow

23 Jun
Rehoboth Beach

Rehoboth Beach

Some things change gradually over time.  Your physical body changes as you grow and develop.  Your mental condition changes too as your physical body changes.  Your social-emotional condition changes as your mental state changes.  Do such changes influence you? Would it significantly contribute to your attitude in life? Does it attribute most in building a positive relationship to others? Let us consider the following discussions below.

Relationship to your family and friends

What are the things that maintain your good relationship to your family and friends? How would you bridge the existing gap or conflicts among your family members or friends? Do you have the ways and means to do it effectively? Do you have open communication with each other? Are you always busy in life or making so many excuses instead of facing up the reality? Would it be necessary of having a third party to intervene in solving family problems or getting back the genuine friendship? Well, whatever your valid and logical reasons, I think there is a need to talk about it and be encouraged to get involved on family matters and keeping the good relationship.

Relationship to your co-workers and organization

People all over the world get employed in a company, agency or organization which they need their good services. They get into the private sectors, government-managed agencies or charitable institutions.  If  you are one of them, are they treated you equally? Are you receiving the same equal opportunities like anyone else in that organization? Are they executing fair labor practices regardless of who you are? Do they respect you as a human being? Do they recognize your strengths instead of your weaknesses?  If you are in the business sector, you may understand that profits are better than wages in order  to attain a better quality of life especially if you do it appropriately and effectively.  However, possession of wealth is definitely temporary on  earth.  Even your current job position, you cannot hold it permanently. That is why always be humble to yourself. Everything may come and go. Remember, we are living temporarily on earth.

Relationship to the Almighty One

People around the world have different religions, churches or denominations.  Their faith, beliefs and philosophies in life depend on what they believe in or what their church teaches to them.  Do you really follow of what you preach? Do you really apply the good teachings that you had learned from your church? If your answer is Yes, go ahead and multiply. But if not, does it make any sense at all? Perhaps all the religions or churches I think would agree on what has been stated in the Golden Rule that goes “Do not do unto others what you do not want others do unto you.”

Warm up the Snow

It is not too late. Like the weather that keeps on changing every now and then.  Sometimes, there are things that seem cold like a snow that needs to warm up.  Our positive relationship to our family, friends, co-workers, organization and Almighty One does mostly matters.

A Happy Father’s Month

26 May

A Happy Father’s Month.

A Happy Father’s Month

26 May

In relation to the death anniversary of my father this May 27 (Memorial Day) and wonderful celebration of the Father’s Day,  I would like to pay tribute to him for being a great father.  I was born without a father figure in our family.  My parents got separated when my mother was in 3 month-pregnant on me.  My father had second family but still he did not forget to visit us about once or twice a year.  I did not know him before.  I thought he was just only a family guest visiting us.  When my father visited us, my older sister next to me excitedly and happily went to him and kiss his hand as a sign of respect.  If he arrived and I am playing, I just continued playing and say to my sister, “Your father arrives.”   I did not know that my father had talked to my sister asking help for introducing him to me as my father.  One day, after my father enrolled me in high school as freshman, he took me to a restaurant. We ate together.  That was the moment when he got the chance to introduce himself to me.  He said, “Do you know me?’ I could not answer quickly.  I am just looking at him.  Then, he continued, “I am your father.”  I could not imagine his feelings and emotions that time but he had the courage to say it to me.   I could not describe how I feel that time at the age of 12.  I felt I had already a complete family even I know only just a couple of hours because he should go back to his work and second family which is too far from us.  He accompanied me to buy school things that I need  and buy fresh foods in the wet market.  We went back home together and have a good lunch with my mother and other family members.  Before he departed and said goodbye, it was the first time that I kissed his hand as a sign of respect to my father.

I was a high school junior when I got sick badly.  I had been seen by the medical doctor, people using natural medicines but my health condition was getting worse.  I having a high fever then chilly temperature.  I got diarrhea and throwing up.  I got lose weighs in just few days.  I was absent for more than a week already in school. I remembered that week was our school exams of all subjects.  My mother was so bothered and worried about me.  She could not work, eat and sleep well.  My father who was living and working too far can cure or heal somebody who is sick.   His background career was in military but he had a special ability to cure some illnesses.  I knew and witnessed it personally.  So I requested to my mother to telegraph my father immediately.  Early morning the following day, my father rushed into our house and cured me with his prayers and certain medicinal herb extracts.  He really rescued my life.  I thought I would die that early age.

When I got a chance to live with my father when I started to go into college, he treated me fairly with his second family.  We never had any conflicts while living with them in spite of my father’s condition that was one-blind eye due to the call of duty as a great policeman and one-amputated leg due to diabetes.  He was no longer working in the hospital that time as a security guard but he was still earning a living for us and well-known in their community as an herbal doctor.

He was a loving father who is ready to provide the family needs.  I never saw my father having arguments or conflicts with my mother.  They settled down certain conflicts nicely and appropriately. My father was also a great singer and dancer during his times.  Because of his talents, he was frequently invited by some local politicians in fiestas and other special occasions such as weddings just to entertain the guests through his traditional songs and dances.

Although we had bonded together for a very short time but the quality time that he gave for his families that matters most to me.  I understand him. I felt his love and presence as a father to all of us regardless of distance, family status and life challenges.

We really miss you, Tatay. We love you so much.  Happy Father’s Day to all.

Aging Mother

3 May

Our mother is the greatest person that we ever known in the world. She is our role model of traditions, family values and love.  Our mother devotes her entire life and sacrifices many things for the welfare of her family.  Our mother makes sure that all of her children are always in good condition with or without her husband’s support.  But what if our mother is getting old now, does she deserve to be cared for her needs? Absolutely Yes, it is our obligation as her children to take good care of her to the rest of her life.  What does an aging mother need?  Just like what a baby needs, let us consider the most essential things below.

Aging mother needs daily basic needs.

Our mother needs nutritious foods to sustain healthy life.  She needs clean clothes, bed sheets and blankets.  Our mother needs a family home and living together with her own children.  She feels happy with her own children and grandchildren.

Aging mother needs medical help and healthy habits.

Our mother needs the help of a medical doctor to monitor her health regularly as she gets older.  She needs to practice healthy habits like personal hygiene, enough sleep, getting fresh air and does simple physical exercises daily.

Aging mother needs our time.

Providing the basic needs for our mother is not enough, she needs also our precious time with her.  No matter how busy we are, no matter how poor or wealthy we are, we as her children should provide a quality time with her.  Our mother wants us to listen to her stories frequently.  She also listens to the stories that we want to share with her.  Quality bonding time is necessary to cherish the good memories with our mother as she lives with us.  Try to take a walk with her in a very awesome and wonderful environment.  Talk to your mother with all your heart and let your mother feels that you really love her very much.

Aging mother needs you

Do you know how important you are to your mother? You are so important to her.  Do not ever leave the opportunity to take good care of your mother.  Because if you will ignore this kind of opportunity to your mother, you do not know what will happen next.  Time comes that you cannot ever hear her voice and stories.  You cannot ever hear her advises.  You cannot ever see her smiling and laughing with your funny jokes. No more mother to receive your Mother’s Day greeting card.  No more mother to wake you up in the morning.  No more mother to prepare your favorite meals. You cannot ever hug and comfort her with your loving arms. You cannot ever go together again to the church, shopping malls, birthday parties, beaches, fiestas and other special occasions.  Definitely, you will really miss her presence.

Therefore, what are you waiting for? It is not too late. Act now.  Wherever you are, always remember your dearest mother.  Have a “Happy Mother’s Day!”

A Wedding that Works on You

3 Mar

Wedding is a union of two persons which had been legalized by the laws of the land or sanctify by the laws of a particular denomination of their faith or church.  It could be the union of opposite sexes or same sex as duly recognized by the laws of the land.

The wedding is celebrated secretly by the new couples alone or can be invited and celebrated by the entire families and friends of them.  The occasion can be held in less than an hour or may be a couple of days of celebration. Whether the wedding is simple or extravagant, it has significant effects to everyone.  Wedding brings lasting peace and builds harmonious relationship among fellowmen.  It bears a better family that stays together.  Wedding shows the traditions and culture of one’s community.  It showcases a unique society.

Some people do not prefer to wed for practical reasons.  However, if you want to prevent family conflicts and pity crimes, have your union be blessed or legalized for the benefits not only by both of you but also your children. It may be a church-wedding, a civil-wedding, a garden-wedding or somewhere else.  What kind of wedding that can work on both of you?

Don’t Just Be A Dreamer

20 Jan

This was my article before going to the United States of America on March 10, 2010.

December 20, 2008

MEYCAUAYAN COLLEGE ALUMNEWS
ALUMNEWS Feature
DON’T JUST BE A DREAMER
“Don’t just be a dreamer……. but be a doer too.” How could you figure out a young boy who came from a broken family and very poor family who tried to overcome his own struggles in life?
My parents were already separated before I was born. I did not have a father figure in our house. We did not have any real properties. We rented the lot from our neighbor and our house is made up of light materials only and no electricity at all. I studied my lessons in a dim light of lamp. My mother, as a single parent worked so hard just to support her own family. She worked in the farm during daytime and weaved mats in the evening. She was still awake at 3 o’clock in the morning. There were times that she get unpaid from farm works and insulted publicly. It had been a number of times that our family degraded, deprived and discriminated. It was very difficult to be poor. During weekends, she sold mats and vegetables in the market. She got laundry clothes from our neighborhood when farm works were not available. We were always looking for our firewood, rice and food everyday. We did not have money even for our transport which made all of us to walk back and forth several kilometers away from poblacion to the barrio every time we went there for work. I did not have enough money when I was in the elementary and high school to support my studies. At the age of 10, I was an ice buko vendor already, carrying a box of frozen items and shouting  on the streets in our hometown. I did help our family in household chores and in selling vegetables in the market. My father with his own family had physical disabilities. He had artificially-made eye due to work-related incident when he was a policeman. He had also amputated leg due to diabetes. I started to recognize my father when I was in high school when he introduced himself while we were eating in a plaza’s restaurant and when he offered help for my tuition fees in high school. I realized the hardships of my parents in raising our family; putting up things together and solving various problems. However, I retained myself in the first section of the class since elementary up to high school. I participated in some extra-curricular activities in the school.
After graduation in high school, I cried when I could not continue my studies in college because my father got sick already and my mother could no longer support me. I remembered when she said one time, “Just cut my body into pieces and sell it” “So that you have something to support for your studies” She was crying too. I cried because I got 92% general average in National College Entrance Examination but I could not enroll in college. All my classmates in the first section would go to college for the coming year. First, I took up a free 6-month training of typing course which was sponsored by the Roman Catholic Church. In the afternoon, I did tutoring to graders in exchange of “sweet potatoes” as snacks and little amount of money from our neighborhood. Besides, I had to take good care of our vegetable garden so that we have something to eat. After graduation in the vocational course, that was the time that I should  look for a better job that can provide our daily needs. But there was another problem, how could I leave my 75 year-old aunt who stayed in our house for several years to help my mother in raising our family and she had never been married. I took good care my aunt since she got an illness. Do I take good care my physically-ill aunt through her entire life or to pursue my plans in life? It was a very difficult decision.
At last, I decided to look for a job. I just my visited my aunt once or twice a year. I had been a houseboy then a fresh meat, fish, and vegetable pushcart vendor in Meycauayan City then a cigarette, candies and plastic market vendor in Olongapo City then a gasoline boy in Zambales then a factory worker of school supplies in Novaliches and finally, a textile worker in Meycauayan City. When I obtained my regular appointment, that was the time that I have to start my plans again. While working in the textile, I did enroll in Meycauayan College. I never forgot to support our family in terms of financial assistance even I was studying while working. Meycauayan College was the nearest college wherein convenient for me in terms of financial matters, distance travel and time management. This was the institution I thought that can give me a college diploma and a quality education. My expectation was really true. Even I would like to take medicine course that time but I did not have huge amount of money for the said course. Thus, I selected Biology as my major in Education. I took Education course because I want to share my knowledge to everybody.

During my college days, I performed well academically with a general weighted average of 1.78. It so happened that I was a working student then and I believed that it could be better and higher if I am just a full-time student. Despite of these, I participated in certain college activities such as impromptu speech, singing contest, been a member of a dance troupe and a contributor in the college paper. In fact, our group was the champion in the Group Pantomime Competition.
It was February 1991 when the factory wherein I was employed had been closed due to labor strike. I went back into selling cooked food in one corner of a well-known subdivision in Meycauayan just to support my last semester of study before graduation. I just borrowed monies for my jeepney fare so that I can attend the graduation ceremony together with my mother. When I stepped on the stage, I could not even stretch my legs because I am so hungry that time. I felt physically weak. My beloved mother witnessed my graduation at last in 1991.
I tried to apply for a teaching position after graduation but most private schools offered me lower salaries which were half lower salary from a textile factory where I lastly employed. One day, a friend encouraged me to apply as waiter in the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia because I had a part-time job experience as waiter in an exclusive hotel in Manila. Luckily, I was hired but for the first two months abroad, I was a merchandiser in a supermarket wherein I have to lift up heavy items in a dump truck then downloading these again. I did these tasks three times a day in a 12-hour basis of work time. Again, I was not used to it. I felt so weak. The store managers could not understand the English language. They shouted and said bad words to me every time I could not carry heavy loads but I ignored it. They allowed me to transfer in a restaurant when there was somebody newly arrived from the Philippines. After I served as janitor in a Filipino restaurant then I became waiter for more than three years then a cashier/waiter wherein one of my tasks was to supervise the operation of the restaurant.
When I arrived here in the Philippines in 1994, I prepared for the Professional Board Examination for Teachers; Career Service Professional Examination which both I took in 1995. Luckily, I passed the two professional exams. In the same year, I started to practice my profession as elementary and high school teacher in a private school. While teaching in a private school, I pursued my graduate study in Manila for two years until I passed the Comprehensive Examination. I lacked just one subject which is thesis writing to finish the degree. After four years of employment, I transferred to a public school here in Meycauayan City. I had been employed also as part-time college instructor here in Meycauayan College, my alma mater, and in a public college here in Meycauayan City. Within thirteen years of continuous service in both private and public institutions, I did share all my skills and expertise to elementary, high school and college students. I did participate with my colleagues and school heads in any assigned tasks to improve the quality of education in our school. For professional growth, I attended various seminars, trainings and workshops. I tried also to contribute articles for science magazines of a publishing company here in Meycauayan City.
Last year, I passed the Praxis II Exam with a higher score. This was a professional examination given to any professional teachers in the world conducted by a licensing agency of United States of America for teacher certification. To sum up, I passed already four major professional examinations which I did not expect to happen when I was still a kid. The history repeats itself, now that I am applying for a teaching position abroad. I passed already the interview and I completed already the required documents. My only problem at present is the processing and placement fees. That is why I ask the Lord to give me some signs. My 84-year old mother wants me to stay here in the Philippines. According to her, she is now very old. It hurts me every time she says that statement and every time I say goodbye to her. My mother also said that I have already job here so why I should go so far. I love my mother so much but I want also to improve my life and the lives of our family better. It is a very difficult decision again. Would I stay to take good care of my mother and the rest of my family or to follow the next plan? I am asking for several signs to God for my next decision in life.
However, I would like to widen my horizon and to continuously do public service here and abroad. Always remember: “Do what is right in order to be good rather than do what is good in order to be right.” “Not all good things are right but all right things are good.”

What if your first birthday party would be the last one?

25 Aug

The Death

August 25 is the death anniversary of our beloved aunt, Indo Simay.  She died last August 25, 1998 at the age of 83.  I can still remember when I was  in the private school.  An office staff called me saying that I had a phone call. My niece was on the line and she told me that my beloved aunt, Indo Simay passed away in our province.  I could not imagine myself when I got cry.  Tears were flowing continuously on my face when I remembered the good memories of my late aunt.  Everybody in our family felt very sad when she died. Everybody knew that Indo Simay was so nice to all of us. She loved our family.  She loved her sisters so much including their siblings and grandchildren.

The Discovery

Beforehand, Indo Simay did not know her birthday since she was born.  Due to massive damages brought about World War II.  no listing of her name in the local registry records.  Ever since, she was not celebrating her birthday. She only estimating her age then. When one of my brothers incidentally found her name in the records of the Church when Indo Simay was baptized   in the Roman Catholic Church. It was stated in the record when and where she was born.  That was December 10, 1917 in Santa Cruz, Zambales, Philippines

The Very First Birthday Party

As initiated by my brother, members of Indo Simay’s extended family which include all her relatives had planned to have special event for her very first birthday party that was held last December 10, 1997.  She will be 83 years old that time on her birthday.

The very first Birthday Party of Indo Simay was very memorable moments to everybody specially for her.  All elders and living sisters with their own families were there to witness the special occasion.  It seemed that everybody was happy.  Indo Simay as a single lady and never been married was so happy that time.  She prayed first.  She did a lot of conversation with the guests and relatives.  She laughed and felt so excited what was going on that day. She even danced with the beat of the music that kept on playing in a loud speaker.  Indo Simay started to cry when each one of us danced her one at a time in the rhythm of a waltz music. Indo Simay cried because she felt how everybody really loves her in that moments. The party was accompanied by a country band. My brothers and I had rendered some folk songs with the country band.  We served a lot of foods to all the guest who attended the party. There were a lot of gifts received by Indo Simay.  All the relatives and friends gave certain amount of money to Indo Simay and pinned the money bills on her birthday clothes as they danced with her at the center of the floor.  It seemed like her wedding day.  People felt mixed emotions of happiness, love and care.  It was a whole-day event.  The following year, we did not know that the very first birthday party would be the last one for Indo Simay because it was on August 25, 1998 when she died due to pneumonia.

Indo Simay’s Legacy

Indo Simay was a very nice daughter of her parents, sister of all her sisters. She did a lot of sacrifices to all of us.  Indo Simay helped and supported her parents and sisters in various ways. She spent most of her life with her parents and sisters. She was a very hardworking person.  She worked from early in the morning until late in the evening.  Indo Simay loved us unconditionally.  She was worried so much when one of us were suffering from any illness.  She was crying when one of us was missing.  Indo Simay was a religious woman.  She never lost faith to God.  She kept on praying to God in the morning, afternoon and evening with the Holy Rosary on her hand.  Indo Simay was attending the weekly Holy Mass even she was working seven days a week.   She never left my mother while we were growing up. Indo Simay served, cared and loved us with all her efforts, skills and abilities.  We treasured so much all her advises and kindness.  Indo Simay can be considered as the unsung hero in the modern world. I know you are in heaven now, Indo Simay, because you really deserved to be there with the Almighty God forever.  We keep on praying for your soul. We love you so much, Indo Simay.

What is your birthday wish?

17 Aug

 

What is your birthday wish?.

What is your birthday wish?

17 Aug

Our birthday is one of the most celebrated events in our life.  We give thanks to the Almighty God who had given us life.  We do acknowledge our loving family who had raised up and guided us to become good citizens of the world.  We appreciate the presence of our friends, neighbors, co-workers and relatives for their wonderful supports in times of urgent needs.  Some people enumerate their birthday wishes as follows:

Good Health

Most people wish that they get maintain good health on their birthday and to the rest of their lives.  How can you determine the taste of delicious birthday foods  if you cannot eat them anymore because you are severely sicked?  How can you feel the joy of having a birthday party if you cannot sing or dance with your guests anymore?  People should stay fit all the time so that they can do wholesome activities which they want to do.

Better Income or Profits

Most people wish that they get better job or business venture to increase their income or profits.  How can you treat yourself and your family on your birthday if your individual income  goes from paycheck to paycheck only?  How can you expand your business if you have limited resources to run your business? For economic reasons, people should look for a better job  or business opportunity wherein it may bring them into a higher income or generate more profits in order to meet their daily needs.  They want to save their money for long-term use.

Best Family

Most people wish their own family to be the best.  How can your family live peacefully and happily together if some members of your family are fighting to one another for some reasons?  How can your family be united if some family members are separated from each other by distance, wealth, life principles, faith, values, attitude, work, crimes and death?  Anybody in the family wants their extended family to be the best family in the world with flourishing joy, contentment, respect, hope, love and care.

Therefore, whether you have a birthday party or not, just pray that these birthday wishes will push true with God’s guidance, friends and family’s supports and  your positive attitude about life.